Can you help a brother out?

We can help brothers out by modeling Godly behavior, with tough love and persistent prayer.

Can you help a brother out?

On Father’s Day, June 19, I was blessed to offer the message at Friendship Missionary Baptist Church in my hometown of Winston-Salem NC. The theme, “Can you help a brother out?”, was intended for anyone and everyone in a position to offer advice, encouragement and prayers for boys and men in their lives.  

Here’s that sermon, in part.

In 2015, I gave Father’s Day message at Grace Presbyterian Church in Winston-Salem. Then it was about brotherhood, the need for it, the importance of it and the commitment it took to be a good brother. My message today is different, more urgent because of the crazy and calamitous times we live.

In these last eight years, we’ve witnessed things that were unimaginable in 2015. I don’t need to list them. We’re confronted by their reality every day. I’d suggest the root cause of the disintegration of our society, of our world lies in the fact that we don’t love each other as we should. Brotherly love. That term is an anachronism, old fashioned, a bygone custom, a way of life, a Christian outlook that has all but disappeared from civil society.

Today, we are faced with unprecedented levels of homelessness, murder, economic and political chaos, thievery, opioid and fentanyl epidemics. But we can and we must do as Jesus taught us – even when we don’t want to -- to love one another as we love ourselves. If we did that, our question for today – Can you help a brother out - - would be a rhetorical one.  

Can you help a brother out?

For the men here, how many men have poured into your lives? Did the lessons help you, sharpen you, make you better, even though those lessons were painful?

Have many lives of young men have you poured into?

Scripture gives us a simple and powerfully encouraging example in the book of Proverbs 27:17 on how we can help a brother out. Here are 5 translations of the verse to expand our understanding of what’s it’s saying:

The King James Version says:

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” 

The New Revised Standard Version says:

“Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the wits of another.”

The New King James Version says:

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

The English Standard Version says:

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

And the New International Version says:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Do we have any chefs in here? A common method to sharpen knives, steel, or iron, is to use a similar piece of metal. When the two scrape against each other, both pieces are shaped and rough spots are removed. Two people can interact and help refine each other. 

Now, what are countenance and wits?

Countenance comes from a French word for "behavior," but it also means facial expression. It is the expression appearing on the face of the Lord as He looks upon His people. The phrase is most well-known for its use in Aaron's blessing in Numbers 6:24-26

High School classmates Ricky Imes (left) and Fernandez Griffin (right), now deacons at Friendship Missionary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem NC.

Numerous biblical examples show the learning value in relationships. Jesus may have sent His disciples out two by two because each one would sharpen the other's testimony. Mentoring is also a good example of one Christian improving the spiritual life of the other. An example: The apostle Paul mentored Timothy. Paul’s epistles encouraged Timothy to mentor others, as well. Paul writes in 2 Timothy 2:2: "What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also." David and Jonathan, in the Old Testament, are good examples of two men who improved each other's lives. Friendship can help two people enjoy a stronger faith and a dynamic spirit. Friends can encourage each other, laugh together, sympathize together, and pray together.

And we must choose wisely who we consistently interact. Most of us wouldn’t be here if we hadn’t stopped running with the wrong crowd. … CAN I GET AN AMEN! … That goes for social media, too. Y’all feel me. …. A good friend can lead us to self-improvement and greater godliness. But ungodly people – gossipy, negative, conniving, petulant, they can lead us toward sin and disaster.

So how do we sharpen the countenance of another, whether it’s a friend, a stranger, anyone we might encounter? I’m so glad you asked.

When can with our behavior, with love and through prayer.

Let me say again. We can help brothers out by modeling Godly behavior, with tough love and persistent prayer.

Our behavior must be different in any circumstance, any situation where we encounter a brother, or when brush up against someone. If we lead with compassion, empathy and agape, we are doing what Jesus commanded, love thy brother as we love ourselves.

We are all familiar with the biblical story in the Book of Luke of a paralyzed man being lowered through the roof of a building so he could receive Jesus’ healing. We know little of the man, other than he was healed, but we know nothing of the brothers who helped him receive that blessing.

But we do know this: the men helped that brother out.

Luke 5:19-21 says some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they couldn’t find a way through the door because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

Who got blessed? Not just the paralyzed man, but also those men, those brothers, who knew they should help a brother out. Their behavior, finding a way around, a way through, is a model of how we should act to help others. Working together, around obstacles, and lifting somebody up.

OK, changing our behavior is one way. What about tough love?

Are you familiar with what’s happening now with Ja Morant of the Memphis Grizzles? The young brother, a great player, has just be suspended for 25 games without pay next NBA season for flashing a handgun for a second time in an Instagram video. Do you think the principle of iron sharpens iron might have helped in his situation, if he’d had a Godly OG in his life? Why didn’t someone help this brother out?

Morant has apologized, again. He said he’d work on his mental health and decision-making. His best decision should be to get away from the people who are enabling his bad behavior. For if iron sharpens iron, there needs to be someone around him to tell him repeatedly to stop that foolishness.

Now, after changing our behavior so we act more compassionate and empathic, after acting in Godly love to mentor and guide young brothers, we now rely on divine intervention, through prayer:

The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayers of the righteous, says Proverbs 15:29…. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16 …  Let’s go a little deeper in what James is saying. It applies directly to how we help each other out.

If you have you Bible, turn to the book of James 5: 13-20. I’ll be reading from the New King James version.

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.

Brethren ……. if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.

I’m a witness to the power of my brothers’ prayers. In July 2021, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, about 6 weeks before I was to get married in September. My fiancée, now my bride Alison, sat with me and cried while we listened to the doctor. But, we started praying, too. Soon, I had four brothers, a pastor, deacon and devout friends here in Winston and in Louisville, praying daily, 2 of them had beat cancer, too, brain cancer & prostate cancer. It was their prayers that helped, No. 1, but it was also their advice on treatments, their encouragement, their support that helped me through. After 6 weeks of radiation and 6 months after wedding, there were no traces of the disease. It was prayer.

Let me say again. We can help brothers out by modeling Godly behavior, with tough love and persistent prayer.

You can do your part …Paul planted, Apollos watered and God provided the increase. Do your part. So can help brothers out.

2 Timothy 1:7 says For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. Don’t be timid about it.

This is true in season and out of season. Discipline yourself to act, to behave in a different way, in a more compassionate way, not with a spirit of fear and timidity but the spirit of power and love.

So can you help a brother out?

Next time a brother needs a few coins, if you’ve been blessed, bless him ….. because blessings are multiplied through sharing.

Next time you are about to cuss a brother out. Stop, and say get the behind me satan! And then say … come here youngblood, let me holler at you.

Next time a brother has something they are going through in their life and they can’t seem to get a handle on it, pray for them and prayer with them.

Can you help a brother out?

Next time cousin Day-Day or June Bug about to do something stupid, holler at them. Show them, tell them there’s another way, a better way.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.